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Whats Does Sex Have to Do with Peace?

I believe (like it’s not the truth, just something that you can embrace if you wish) that world peace and awesome sex (now I’m not talking about getting off just to get off, although there is nothing wrong with that, but as a means to form intimate connections with other people) are connected by a bridge or ARC.

The ARC consists of:

· Authenticity

· Respect &

· Contribution

Authenticity, or authentic communication, paired with respect, for yourself and the other person, allows for sharing your true self and allowing them the space to do the same. If respect (not agreement but respect for the reality, thoughts, and being of the other person) is there, actual communication can occur. Meaning that both parties are able to “hear” each other, what is present for them in their world without judgements and assessments to limit or close them down. It allows for each person to feel they are being heard and understood without being made right or wrong. It allows room for understanding.

With this foundation, the conversation can move forward. Force, manipulation, and pushing a predetermined agendas are eliminated. There is room for new thoughts and understanding to arise together. Both parties’ win. Compromise, on the other hand, is where both give a little to placate the other and both lose at least a little bit. What would be possible if everyone you interacted with left feeling heard and valued? Something could be created, together, that could not have been imagined by just one mind. Something new and perhaps surprising. Community wins and respect is not only reinforced but allowed to grow.

Many times, I have allowed respect or obligation to others to outweigh my commitment to myself. As a woman, that behavior of giving everything was praised from childhood. It’s hard to reprogram. My husband helped me break the habit of apologizing for everything (even when it had little of nothing to do with my behavior). It was starting to undermine my wellbeing and yet I still catch myself apologizing even today.

Doing this long enough starts to wear us down until there is nothing left to give. We then suffer either physically, mentally, emotionally, and/or spiritually. This also happens in sex. If we put our partners pleasure above our own and tell ourselves it’s ok, eventually the zest for life will extinguish. Being responsible for our own orgasms is the first step to self-care and vitality. Respect for ourselves and our partners is a game worth playing.

Finally, contribution. Embodying contribution as a way to live life tends to continue to elevate connection and vitality with those we interact with. In a sexual situation, giving myself to my partner and having them give themselves to me builds the connection, trust, intimacy, and love. Knowing I’m contributing to another person’s wellbeing and satisfaction, enlivens and stimulates me. It smooths over any rough patches and helps promote a playful non-judgmental space to experiment and explore.

It fosters awesome sex. “Awesome,” as defined by Oxford Languages is, “extremely impressive or daunting; inspiring great admiration, apprehension, or fear.” That’s the magic of sex, it’s everything at once. Great sex involves exposing yourself to another. Being vulnerable. It can be scary yet gives birth to intimacy and trust (unless, of course, you’re with an ass, lol).

Experiencing awesome sex can shift how reality occurs. I certainly don’t feel like “kicking the dog.” In fact, there is more bounce in my step, a smile on my face, and I’m much more pleasant to be around!

Now imagine if Putin were having great, satisfying sex? What if the gun argument didn’t stop at more control vs no control but looked for new/deeper causes of shootings. Did you just get triggered (pun intended)? If so, perhaps more sex is called for???

That’s the basic concept to World Peace thru Awesome Sex. To use sex to practice authentic communication, respect, and contribution. For these aspects to be second nature for everyone. To let this new way of being flow effortlessly out into our families, neighbors, communities, and beyond (not that I’m encouraging orgies, necessarily…). Creating awesome sex in our own lives, whatever that may look like for you, to foster peace in the WORLD.

PS – If we delve deeper, we see how negative body image is fostered, how advertising is used to control thought, how sex is taught (or not) in schools, and how conversations tend to run in an endless loop where no movement occurs. But that is a much longer article, if not a book, LOL!

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