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Pushing the Edges

Pushing the edges, journey into the unknown.

Now that you have been contemplating where your edges are, let’s look at what is available if you choose to push or dance around those edges. First, I want to remind you to keep your boundaries front and center, so you don’t zoom past your comfort zone. Discovering what’s out there can be an exciting exploration into areas that may challenge what you have always held to be true. I am not promoting anything and am certainly not an expert, so do your research and make your own choices.

We talked about different relationship styles or configurations earlier this month. Now we will explore areas that exist around sex and power dynamics. Some areas might interest you and others not so much. The aim here is to expose you to area we don’t talk about and usually have misconceptions about. If am area interests you, please do more research, talk to people you know, and proceed cautiously. Having a trusted guide is a plus because as with anything it’s not only the practice but the integrity of the people participating.

Access to different experiences:

 Sex toys – can be found everywhere,, including Walmart, lol. They can be used individually or with a partner.

 Orgasmic Meditation – is a practice of a woman connecting with her sexual energy facilitated by a partner stimulating her cliterous in a controlled, non-sexual environment.

Check out

Slow sex – is exactly that, sex sloooooowed way down so explore the entire body, create intimacy, and prolong the connection. In our fast-paced world, it is an amazing gift we give each other.

OMGyes – is an amazing website that has real everyday women discussing their arousal. It’s well worth checking out. Especially with an outrageous number of women not being able to experience orgasm.

Tantra – Is an ancient practice of experiencing yourself at a higher level. It combines spirituality, heightened sensuality, breathing, meditation, and mindfulness. Can be practiced with or without a partner. It’s can include sex but is more about the orgasmic energy involved.

 Taking on a lover and/or participating with multiple people at the same time

BDSM – stands for many different things. The best definition I’ve found is B/D (Bondage and Discipline), D/s (Dominance and submission), and S/M (Sadism and Masochism). This is an umbrella term for a range to interests. Check out for further information. Remember there are terms and then what the terms mean to the individual people involved.

Going to a sex club – this may sound on the edge; it was for me. I went to the Crucible in DC. First there was an orientation meeting at a hotel to answer questions. Then there was the “dungeon 101” meeting at the club (lights up, no sex, demo areas). I asked a friend to accompany me because I didn’t know what to expect. They went thru the rules and what the night would be like, then we were invited to visit the different demo areas to see what “play” was available and sample it, if desired. There were whips, canes, spanking, electric simulators, knife play, and my favorite, being tied down and tickled. (Be advised there is a difference between a swinger-type club and a BDSM-type club depending on your preferences.)

That’s it for now and only a partial list. The are many fears and misconceptions around some of the areas listed. It will take something to move forward and explore. If you’re ready, jump in. If not, don’t. It’s all about knowledge, options, and what your intuition tells you.

Humanity is a diverse place, full of variations and adventure. As I open up to what’s out there, give up my preconceived notions about the practices are, and who the people involved are, the world has become richer, connection to people has become stronger, and trust in myself has blossomed.

PS - It’s more fun with a partner “in crime,” so to speak.

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